After declaring a weather-related disaster for Northwest New Mexico, Governor Bill Richardson decided another disaster declaration was necessary for the StateCapitolBuilding.
DECLARING A VALENTINE DISASTER IN THE STATECAPITOLBUILDING
IN ADVANCE OF THE IMPENDING TRAIN WRECK THAT TRADITIONALLY MARKS THE FINAL WEEKEND OF THE SESSION
WHEREAS, the state capitol building has been severely impacted by an extreme amount of bovine manure from the First Floor of the Roundhouse, beginning in January of 2003 and intensifying in duration and quantity since that time;
WHEREAS, the cumulative and unrelenting nature of these cow chips have clouded the judgment of budget negotiators;
WHEREAS, tensions are rising as the Legislature is quickly approaching the final weekend of its 30-day session, and Valentine greetings from the Governor are not likely to lower the temperature or buy any good will;
WHEREAS, House and Senate members refuse to communicate, refuse to pass each other’s bills and are threatening to throw flour tortillas at each other;
WHEREAS, this disaster is of such magnitude as to be beyond the control of the first floor inhabitants and they are in critical need of assistance from the executive branch to avoid further harm to the public welfare.
NOW, THEREFORE, I, Bill Richardson, Governor of the State of New Mexico, by virtue of the authority vested in me by the Constitution and Laws of the State of New Mexico, do hereby declare a state of Disaster that results from the excess of bovine manure.
I DIRECT the Department of Finance and Administration to make available emergency financial resources in whatever amount necessary in accordance with the laws of humanity and common decency.
I FURTHER DIRECT the Department of Homeland Security and Emergency Management to coordinate all requests for assistance and direct all Cabinet Departments and agencies of the State of New Mexico, including elements of the New Mexico National Guard, to converge on the state capitol building with implements and tools necessary to remove the offending bovine manure and ultimately forge a lasting peace agreement that allows a rationale end to the budget stalemate.
THIS ORDER supersedes any other previous orders, proclamations, or directives in conflict. This Executive Order shall take effect immediately and shall remain in effect until such time as the Governor rescinds it.
DONE AT THE EXECUTIVE OFFICE THIS 12THDAY OF FEBRUARY, 2010
GOVERNOR OF NEW MEXICO
A subsequent post explains the emergency declaration was indeed humor.